For many of us, we conjure up the past not just to resolve an issue (which is often healthy and productive), but with a compulsive tendency to re-hash and re-live it because it irritated us (which is a waste of time). The mantra, when it’s over, it’s over, is a reminder to me that […]

Here’s an example of how it might work. You’ve asked your children to pick up the mess in the living room. Then you ask again. Instead of finding an industrious, cooperative agent of good, you find a surly eight year old who rails that you aren’t the boss of him. Rather than launching into a […]

A good analogy is that if the anger well becomes too high, there’s a threat that the water will spill over. In real terms it means we might let loose on our kid by doing or saying something we otherwise wouldn’t have. Becoming aware of your internal anger state is a key preventative tactic. If […]

As my anger starts to mount, I remind myself to take a few deep breaths. After my head stops reeling, I light on one of the stress mantras (such as soften to the feeling or bring it on) to help me reframe the situation. As I repeat the chosen mantra, my perspective starts to shift. […]

One of the children usually starts grabbing the contraband material as quickly as possible if he or she can reach it. Now I am in the position of getting him to relinquish it by invoking some brand of voodoo or snatching it forcefully from his steely grasp. All the while I am trying to unload […]