Yesterday’s Oprah featured guests who had tried to kill themselves but survived. Their purpose for appearing on the show was to help others who might be feeling as desperate and tell them that they should reach out and ask for help. However, one woman did say that after repeatedly sharing with her mother her desire to jump off a bridge, her mother drove her to one and said, “so jump”. This after telling her to “snap out of it”. One day she finally did snap and tried to jump off the bridge when a fast-acting police officer caught her arm and saved her life. Sounds like we should all reach out for help but as Irena, the accupuncturist, said, be sure to choose wisely when disclosing to family members and select someone with whom your gut says you are safe. Probably not the one who tells you to “just snap out of it”.

Luckily, even before viewing yesterday’s show, I’ve been feeling much better. Christmas was festive and fun, and yet I’m feeling some relief now that it is over. Despite my intentions, the presents and parties spiraled out of control this year. I’ve also put away a lot of the Christmas-related decorations which were both beautifying and cluttering my home. Other mood improvers–a fun evening with friends that involved a lot of laughing and high-end tequila; lots of happiness generated from my kiddies because of vacation, Christmas and the general joy associated with being kids and playing a lot. I’m almost finished reading “The 4 Hour Work Week” and am excited about putting those principles into action (don’t tell my boss). And last but not least, I’m finally getting some sleep–hallelujah!!

On Christmas night, we put Quinn in a pack’n play in the livingroom and let him cry it out. This consisted of two distinct crying jags around 11 pm and 3am that lasted 30 minutes each. In hindsight it sounds like nothing, but I felt every moment as I lay in bed listening to my infant’s wails getting louder and more urgent interrupted only by my husband repeatedly asking me, “should you get him?” (NO! Sadly he was not so much concerned with the baby as with wanting the noise to stop so he could go back to sleep. He’d also roll over to ask how long I was going to let him cry (45 minutes) despite being well informed of the plan and supposedly in full support of it.) So for three nights we did the same routine–I nursed Quinn, gave him a bath, put him in a comfy sleeper and put him down for the night, then listened to him “cry it out” for two different periods. Then last night, the fourth night–only two cries for two seconds each during the usual cry periods. Amazing! I’m up to about 6 hours of sleep at night and I’m really feeling the difference. Not forgetting quite as much, not using the completely wrong word in sentences (as in, “Would you please pass me the bus stop?” Huh?), no truly hysterical laughing bouts, no dumb purchases off the TV, haven’t left my wallet anywhere…who wouldn’t feel better?!

Of course I can’t help but note that I have only been doing one full-time job instead of two this past week. There might be a correlation with my decreased exhaustion level and not having to go to work (outside my home) each day. Nor am I carrying any of the psychological load inherent in working with people with whom I do not always agree (and who I can’t put in a timeout or take away TV privileges to make them stop whatever annoying thing they might be doing or saying). Would this time off feel so sweet though if it were a permanent situation? Not so sure. I’ve spent a lot of time helping to peel stickers out of sticker books only to stick them in a white notebook my older son calls his sticker collection. The stickers are not in any particular order and we complete this task somewhat like a factory line, only stopping so he can count them up periodically. Pointless? Probably not any more so than my endless moving of paper piles from one place to another at home and at work.

I am certain that sleep, the break from work, the hope instilled by the acupuncturist and the author of the 4 hour work week, along with the other factors I’ve mentioned, are all contributing to my improved mood. (And I also started wearing some make up which has been a hit with the kids). I am quite grateful and I hope I haven’t jinxed things by mentioning this all….continued luck to me and to you! xo Diane