I want to say that work is going well. Still plenty of problems to solve, work to do, ways to be useful… I am taken aback by the sheer volume of issues to address though. Any one task would pose an interesting challenge. They are coming at me at an increasingly fast speed though and I’m feeling like Lucy being overcome by chocolates on the conveyor belt.

It is my first week back. It makes sense that I will need some time to adjust to the faster tempo of work life. And to some of the uncomfortable feelings that go along with differences of opinion, disappointment, dealing with other people’s grievances. Of course I also encounter those events when I am at home or out with my children but there is something less escapeable about these situations at work and the bummer is that I am having these experiences in lieu of being with my baby…I sense the need for a mantra!

Here’s a shot at healthy self-talk: there are work situations that I cannot control–what I can control is how I think and in turn, how I feel and behave. My work is challenging, worthwhile, meaningful. It is at times difficult–that is why it is called “work”. I can stand/tolerate uncomfortable feelings and interactions.

Honestly, I have already had many positive work experiences in these first three days. Colleagues have been welcoming, I’ve resolved problems, begun addressing others, felt positive and productive. I’ve said out loud that I am happy to be back, that I like my job. (I even say I love it at times but I almost always feel it’s an overstatement as soon as the words slip out). I wish I did not focus on the stressful aspects. I am like a weighted pendulum, swinging in many directions but always drawn back to the problem. What a downer I am! This is why I’m up at 2:30 am.

My husband and children are sleeping soundly. My home is lovely and clean. I am healthy with small issues relative to the world at large. On that note I’m getting back in bed. Sweet zzzzs. Diane