In full-disclosure, I will share that I have been working on-and-off, part time one day a week and as needed throughout my maternity leave. Knowing that I would be returning to work full-time in less than 3 months was enough incentive to keep my hand in things at work. Better to not get completely out-of-the loop and some aspects of my job are easier to attend to myself than to adequately explain and delegate. Plus I have control issues.

Since I will be returning in 12 days, I decided to attend a meeting this morning for psychologists from all the independent schools citywide. They/we meet monthly to discuss relevant issues. I thought it would be a good way to get my feet wet, so to speak, as far as attending a professional meeting. I had the babysitter come (more on that later), wore a nice outfit, put on make up, looked and sounded ok. I find it comical though that I was ever contemplating whether I should bring my darling baby boy with me. The now obvious answer is “NO”. Wonderfully kind, smart, caring group of adults but definitely not a good professional move for me to bring my baby. Note to self: having beautiful baby cooing, spitting up or crying for my breast is distracting for all at the least and likely to result in guilt and anxiety. I’m making a note of this because I often imagine him sleeping quietly in his carrier while I go about some important business. And murphy’s law dictates that will not be the case…. Meeting went fine. Didn’t break into hysterics or disclose my difficulty focusing though I did mention feeling paranoid and hormonal. Perhaps my judgement is a bit off.

more soon…Diane