Here’s an example of how it might work. You’ve asked your children to pick up the mess in the living room. Then you ask again. Instead of finding an industrious, cooperative agent of good, you find a surly eight year old who rails that you aren’t the boss of him. Rather than launching into a tirade, it is possible to remind yourself that the pump is primed. This simple awareness automatically opens up your range of responses. You avoid the pitfall of screaming back that indeed you are the boss of him and you will be forever. Your behavior becomes intentional and voluntary rather than reflexive and conditioned.